What Clients Ask Me During Consultation
Musenge do you have a therapist?
You are not a machine
Yes, I have had 6 therapists in the last 20 years. My current therapist is awesome and has been a safe place for me to process 2020, however carving out time for soul care has been a challenge I share with many of my clients. When I started my private practice I realized that I had to be intentional about healing this generational burden otherwise I could have easily worked myself to death. I joined the nap ministry in 2017 and have been working incorporating the 7 types of rest!
In addition, being kind to myself I have also been intentional about not causing harm. Even though I am belong to a few marginalized groups, I am still an oppressed oppressor and the field of psychology has supported structural racism from the very begining. (American Psychiatric Association (APA) apologizes for supporting structural racisim I take trainings that have supported me in identifying how I perpetuate ableism and heteropatriarchy and my own internalized fatphobia and anti-Blackness. I feel very strongly that unlearning is a lifelong journey and am grateful to the therapists that share their wisdom and make these trainings accessible. Check out what I am unlearning here
Why did you become a therapist?
True healing is not the fixing of the broken, but the rediscovery of the unbroken.
There is no single answer but when I reflect on the stories of my ancestors and the last 4 decades of my life, it makes sense that I would spend my days getting to know people and co-creating a space in which healing can happen. I have always had a deep connection with our natural world and an appreciation for stories! Stories that are passed on from generations to generation, the stories our bodies tell when we move,sing and play. The stories we put on paper with words and paint. The stories we share with tears, laughter and drums. The stories that make us unique, makes us whole, and connects us all. I appreciate having a career where my work is deeply personal and spiritual and covered by your HSA Plan.
Musenge Luchembe Hayslett is a Licenced Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT) &
Licenced Professional Counselor-Mental Health Service Provider (LPC-MHSP)
I have an abcd diagnosis, and I have been struggling xyz. How would you approach treatment?
One size fits all: Great for scrunchis, bad for therapy!
With curiosity, creativity, collaboration and patience. Sometimes our needs change with the seasons, where you are in your life's journey, your support systems, and even the state of our natural environment. I extend invitations to engage in experiments and interventions that hopefully will help us develop an authentic connection and access your core wounding/material. It’s not a linear process and takes time. Slow is fast when it comes to healing...no spiritual bypassing, no bandaids, no fixing! The work is very experiential!
We will use what we learn to come up with a treatment plan along with creative ways to integrate these lessons into your daily life. There is also the practical piece like discussing feelings about medication management, group therapy, crisis plans, inviting friends, partner(s), or family member(s) to therapy and collaborating with other health providers and the people and non human beings that provide emotional and spiritual support in your life.
I don’t like mosquitos or snakes and I am not sure I want to do ecotherapy.
Options, if too less creates desperation, and if too many, discombobulation”
I am not a huge fan of mosquitos either and carry 3 different insect repllents! All of my offerings are in the form of invitations that you can accept, decline, or table for consideration later or never. Non-violence is a very important principle in developing trusting relationships and is the foundation of our work together
I also have a few trauma informed holistic different approaches that I combine, modify, or completely toss out to meet your unique needs while gently challenging some of the stuckness. I often combine Hakomi and Ecotherapy, Internal Family Systems and Brainspotting and I sprinkle Expressive Arts on everything. Too hot or too cold? We can do indoor ecotherapy and invite Doobie (super chill senior Chihuahua) to sit near you.
Do you give homework?
Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master.
Yes, practicing and integrating what you learn about yourself outside of therapy is just as, if not more, importatn as what happens in therapy. But rather than call it homework,let's call it intergrating and exploring resources outside of therapy that may support deep exploration and confidence to implement new behaviours, boundaries etc. Homework has negative connotations becuase it is often given with out consideration of the recipients time, interests or financial resources.
My “homework” may look like taking a sound bath, float, rock climbing, listening to an episode of a podcast, a session cranio-sacral therapy, trying a meditation app, have lunch with a friend on the grass, check out this naturopath, tantric healer, look in surrogate therapy, drink a warm beverage on your porch before starting your day, take a personality test, finish this pieces of art we started in therapy.